LA Kings 2013-14 Superlatives

Best Style
Jeff Carter

Carter scores goals in every way imaginable. Slick wrist shots from the dot? No problem. Bunting a puck past Corey Crawford? You got it! Carter also proved that infamous Gretzky quote wrong this season by scoring on 100 percent of the shots he didn’t take against the Oilers in March.
 

Cutest Couple
Anze Kopitar & Justin Williams

Kopitar, the leading scorer for the Kings this season, spent more time with Williams on his wing than any other Kings forward. Of the 39 points Kopitar earned when playing 5v5 during the regular season, Williams was also credited with a point of his own in 24 of those instances. They finished with the third and fourth highest Corsi percentages among all NHL players, and though they didn’t drive possession quite as much during the postseason, both came out on the positive side relative to teammates.
 

Most Dependable
Drew Doughty

When Doughty’s at his best, it seems nearly impossible for the Kings to lose. Despite sustaining a shoulder injury just before the playoffs, Doughty seemed to get better as the postseason progressed, eventually feeling so good that no stanchion was safe.
 

Teacher’s Pet/Most Inspirational
Jonathan Quick

Every day he sounds more and more like Darryl Sutter in his post-game interviews, and it’s terrifying but amazing. There was also a brief anecdote during the Stanley Cup Final about Quick giddily sliding behind the wheel of a forklift and honking the horn. Next thing we all know, he’ll be manning a tractor on the Sutter farm.

When he wasn’t busy expertly sucking the life out of post-game pressers, Quick was also playing with an injured wrist. Reports indicated that he hurt his wrist during the second round, though there’s no official word on whether he sustained the injury while punching Corey Perry in the junk. Still, we’re impressed that Quick lasted through the rest of the run and put up the awesome numbers he did in the Stanley Cup Final. The “compete level” displayed in his double-fisting during the parades was also out of this world.

@thxbud @PumperNicholl pic.twitter.com/MXTj8pLFIJ

— Chad Drew (@cgdx3) June 24, 2014

His majesty is overwhelming.
 

Mr. Personality
Willie Mitchell

Mitchell and Jarret Stoll have been in the running for Kings players most likely to become broadcasters pretty consistently. This season was no different. Whether he was flashing smiles at reporters and then making them all have to go look up what “gum boots” were or talking about cuddling with teammates on the plane, Mitchell spent another season demonstrating why he’s a guy people are entertained by. You know, as long as folks can also take him very passionately giving lectures on sustainable salmon fishing.

It’s a shame that Kings fans and LA reporters won’t get any of that next season. Stoll might win this one by default next summer. Miss your LA restaurant tweets already, Willie Mitchell.
 

Perfect Attendance
Slava Voynov

Voynov didn’t miss a single game for the Kings during 2013-14. He played in every preseason game, every regular season game, and in all 26 postseason games. That’s 114 games played in 2013-14 for Voynov, the only King who can boast that number. Though Kopitar, Williams, and Richards all played the entirety of the regular season and playoffs, they each took at least one game of the preseason off. The cool thing about the Kings winning the Cup is that Voynov finally got to go to sleep.
 

Class Clown/Most Improved Student
Jake Muzzin

Remember when ESPN ranked Jake Muzzin the 50th best defenseman in the NHL? Hahaha, joke’s on everyone, because Muzzin really proved to be an essential part of the Kings’ present and future on the blue line. He started this year frequently playing on the third pairing or a healthy scratch, but by the end, Muzzin was regularly paired with Doughty and making it very difficult for top NHL competition. His 61.1 Corsi percentage during the regular season also led all defensemen in the NHL.

The increased attention on Muzzin during the playoffs also showcased how delightfully goofy that guy is. He even provided Kings fans with a soundbite about Martinez that everyone should’ve kept using right through Game 5 of the Final.
 

Most Luscious Locks
Jordan Nolan

He may have only played in three losing postseason games for the Kings this run, but his hair stayed glorious throughout. Man bun game on point.
 

Biggest Flirt
Dustin Brown

No matter what any opponent did on the ice, Dustin Brown there. He was among the top 10 in hits for and against during both the regular season and postseason. Brown just couldn’t help trying to be in every guy’s space, getting face time and bumping them with his butt. His 125 playoff hits for were 30 more than the next guy. Jeez, just ask a guy out already, Dustin.
 

Most Likely To Steal Your Girl
Alec Martinez

Martinez spent stretches of the season as a friendly, non-threatening healthy scratch. Then Sutter gave him a real chance, and he showed everyone why he’s had the potential to be hot stuff down the stretch. His 7 goals in March were an impressive and insane career-high for him. Matt Greene ended up benched indefinitely and then only used sporadically during the playoffs.

Martinez started shooting and making it count. In 6 games this year he posted a shooting percentage at 100 percent. Other defensemen only had 1 or 2 games like that. He finished the regular season with a 13.9 shooting percentage, second to Kopitar. And while Kopitar regressed a bit in the postseason, Martinez rode that shooting percentage through to the end, scoring five more goals in the run to the Stanley Cup, including those two now-famous series winners. There’s no way that production is sustainable, but it was great to be spoiled by it this past season.

Best Transfer Student
Marian Gaborik

Seven! More! Years! Alright, the pick for this category was Ben Scrivens for us until the postseason happened. After nearly tying Wayne Gretzky’s record for most goals scored in a single postseason by any Kings player, including netting late tying goals to force overtime in four separate games, it’s impossible not to feel that Gaborik steals this one. His 14 postseason goals means he earned four more than Jeff Carter, who came in second, and five more than 2014 Conn Smythe winner Justin Williams. Speaking of that guy…
 

Prom King
Justin Williams

He says he hates the nickname “Mr. Game 7,” but he did a lot to solidify it this year, plus a lot more. He came through at several key moments during the playoffs after yet another regular season spent as one of the Kings’ best possession players. Williams was also absolutely the breakout narrative for the media in the playoffs, especially by the time the Kings reached the Stanley Cup Final. It’s no real surprise that people voted him the MVP for the Cup-winning team.
 

Best All Around
Anze Kopitar

Kopitar was the leading goal-scorer for the Kings during the regular season, and the leader in overall points during both the regular season and postseason. He consistently plays against the NHL’s most dangerous forwards and defenseman, including needing to outlast last year’s Selke winner Jonathan Toews in the Western Conference Final to give the Kings a chance to reclaim the Stanley Cup.

There’s really no way to overstate how important Kopitar is to the Kings franchise and how much fun it is to watch him play. This season has brought him more national attention than ever before, including his own first Selke trophy finalist nod. He’s only 26 years old. There’s still time to see him become even greater. If he does find a way to top everything he’s accomplished this year, just expect most Kings fans to drop to one knee and propose to be sister wives and brother husbands alongside Kopitar’s wife already, promising to cherish him forever.

Look, in Slovenia they’ve made their own “KOPIWOOD” sign.

Hey Americans you have Hollywood, but here in Slovenia we have KOPIWOOD. 🙂 #lakings #nhl @lakings #anzekopitar pic.twitter.com/FR8FxVfhSN

— Domen Demsar (@DomenDemsar) June 26, 2014

They also welcomed him with flowers at the airport like he goddamn deserves.

Have a great summer, you Slovenian prince.

Congratulations, once again, to the Los Angeles Kings on a 100 point season and winning the Stanley Cup. See you for 2014-15!