Week 2 Preview: Oilers, Blues, and Wild

Well, this has gone just about as everyone expected. If only the Kings hadn’t strung together a mildly impressive preseason, we really wouldn’t even be batting an eyelash about their slow start right now. Alas, we’re clinging to one win against the Winnipeg Jets.

#HERECOMETHEOILERS

Oilers @ Kings
Tuesday, October 14th
7:30 PM PST

This is the part where Nail Yakupov scores with 4 seconds left to tie the game and slides across the ice like a superhero, right? Alec Martinez could learn a thing or two.

The Oilers, similar the Kings, got blown out on opening night by…the Calgary Flames. Let that sink in. Maybe there is a reason they’ve retired that hashtag. Then, to continue the Royal Narrative, the Oilers blew a 2-goal lead to the Canucks and dropped the game in a shootout.

Linden Vey first goal alert!

 
So basically, this was almost the battle of the last place teams. Bless Winnipeg.

Last year, the Kings were a perfect 4-0 against the Oilers, with 1 game won in a shootout.

 
EEEEELLIOOOTT

Blues @ Kings
Thursday, October 16th
7:30 PM PST

St. Louis lost their opening night game to the New York Rangers on the back of a 2-goal, 3-point performance from Rick Nash, which is more than his entire playoff totals. Thanks, Slava Voynov’s stick!

They followed that up with a convincing 4-1 win over Calgary, because they are not the Oilers. Goaltender Brian Elliot got both starts, and because they have a bizarre 5-day gap before they play the Kings on Thursday, he will likely be starting that game too. Get ready for the #McFlurryMinute.

Paul Stastny has 4 points in his first 2 games as a Blues player, which, if you’re counting, is still more points than the sum of all Kings players after that same sample size. Thankfully, they’ve played the Jets since then.

Last year, the Kings were 2-1 vs the Blues but were out-scored 7-8, thanks to a 5-0 blowout loss in the heyday of their January slumber.

 
STATE OF NO OUTDOOR GAMES

Wild @ Kings
Sunday, October 19th
12:00 PM PST

At the time of this writing, the Minnesota Wild have yet to give up a goal in the 2014-15 season. Which would be more impressive if both of their games weren’t against the Colorado Avalanche, who apparently have lost all ability to score goals, but retained their abilities to never have the puck. Honestly, what’s even the point of a Colorado Avalanche team if they’re not going to be outrageously entertaining whilst defying all logic? But I guess this is supposed to be about the Wild.

They’ve looked impressive, outscoring the Avalanche 8-0 while getting a grand total of 1 assist from marquee off-season signee Thomas Vanek. They play the Ducks prior to playing the Kings, so they will likely have given up a goal by the time they make their way to Staples Center. It’s still clear that they are not to be taken lightly, which is probably good, because the Kings are notoriously garbage against non-playoff teams (Hi, Arizona!).

Last year, the Kings went 1-1-1 against Minnesota, with their one win occurring in a shootout in the first game of the season. Never forget Trevor Lewis: Goaltender. If I remember correctly, all three games were boring as hell.

Cool places to nap on Sunday afternoons:

– The living room floor
– On the kitchen counter
– Dwight King’s trunk

If I had to guess, I’d say the Kings have a good chance of going 2-1 this week, assuming they can avoid making their narrative annoyingly similar to the post-Cup campaign of 2013. I refuse to envision a world in which they lose in the Western Conference Final to the eventual Champion San Jose Sharks off a hat-trick goal from Tomas Hertl.

Seriously, guys. Let’s nip this déjà vu right in the bud.